I’m not referring to those used to represent the energy levels of chronically ill and disabled people, à la Christine Miserandino. No, I’m talking the kind of cutlery that Elvis was allegedly accused of using to scoop his poo out of his hounddog behind. Ehlers-Danlos
are the genetic gifts that just. Keep. Giving, and on top of everything else, I think the skin inside my bottom is becoming a little bit baggy, not that it's hanging out, but I don't think it's making my Poo Babies' arrival any easier.
The needles-that-hath-no-name showed, apparently, that there is no neurological deficit in that region, and that the muscles are moving fine. Hunky dory, thank you very much!
Only they’re not. I know they’re not.
Because my Poo Babies get all jammed up at the last hurdle and no amount of pushing or straining or cursing or praying makes them move downwards. The only thing that does is digitizing.
It’s not about phone numbers or new computerized art. Not to put a too fine a point on it, it’s putting your fingers or thumb in to your vagina and / or anus in order to pick, pull, and pry the Poo Babies out.
is Assisted Delivery.
It’s like my digestive system sometimes just doesn’t recognize that it’s got another X inches of tunnel to navigate before my Poo Babies are successfully birthed. And opiates make no difference here.
Indeed, the harder Poo Babies those medications make can actually be easier to assist out of my body because when these offspring are soft, any pressure applied to push them out only flattens them, and that then means mining away in my own backside and things getting extra messy. Though it's the harder, pointy, stone-like ones that feel like glass in my tubes and leave me feeling bruised and uncomfortable too.
After a Poo Day, although my abdominal symptoms may be alleviated (they may not), from the waist down I am swollen, often bleeding (usually from low in my gastrointestinal system, but occasionally from higher up as well), and I feel like the British Labour-voting public when another Conservative coalition government was voted in…
Ray Of Hope?
I’ve been medicated for a while now, prescribed the usual drugs people on a digestively challenged path all generally seem to take. And then move past because the
drugs didn’t work and symptoms got worse. What I was told to take worked for a while, but became increasingly ineffective very quickly, within just a few short months.
Rather than up the dosage and start down that slippery slope, I decided, based upon my research and suspected diagnosis of Mast Cell Activation Disorder, to try and alternative supplement.
So far, it seems to be working miracle, and out of the last two weeks, I’ve only had one Assisted Delivery, and pretty much every day I’ve been…Not quite like clockwork…But definitely mainly Hands Free.
But that is for my next #YouSeeUs Tribe Diary entry.